“Another Blank Page”

(sharing this older post…)

“Another Blank Page”    ~by Aixa Garcia 3-11-15

blankpage

Another blank page sits before me, I stare at it for quite a while.

The words are there, inside of me, dying to bring themselves forth but I resist, I hold back, in fear of what may be said. You see, I say tooo much sometimes, I share my heart, my thoughts, my gifts but they are not always understood. Though many confirm their helpfulness and how they have been touched in one way or another…others resist, afraid of the truth, afraid to feel, afraid to see within themselves. But even “I” resist what they may reveal…so much has already been said and sometimes I just don’t want to know. But the urge inside is much greater than me and eventually I have to give in. What is it that wants to be said? What is it that needs to be shared? If I hold back, it pains me with the thought of rejecting my gifts. But if I share, my heart is open, in the hands of the one who receives…or resists. I try to separate myself, the “human” self from feelings and emotions but it’s often difficult to do…as FEELING is part of how I receive…you see, I have a gift that Feels things, that goes deep within one’s soul, I can feel the pain in others, though they hide it behind a smile. I feel the doubt, the struggle, the pain that dwells in them deep. Maybe I feel too much but it’s part of who I am. How else could I help another? Is it so wrong to feel? To care? To give ones heart so deeply? Maybe I ask too much, maybe I expect even more. But how does one hold back from something that is in essence, out of our control? We are all here for a reason, with a purpose and a mission to fulfill. I am currently walking my journey and still learning along the way. I fall often as the path isn’t always clear but Divinity picks me up and guides me along the way. I struggle as others do and fight against adversity because we very well know…where there’s a purpose, there will always be adversity. My heart has oftentimes been broken, my world shaken but my Spirit cannot be touched…though it has tried to be, I am protected by a Force much greater than any of us. And I am always reminded to never give up, no matter what! ~ to keep on fighting, keep on believing, to keep on loving. It doesn’t matter whether our gifts are accepted, received, or understood, it only matters that we follow that Guidance that shows us what to do, then wait for Divinity to do the rest…eventually, it will ALL be understood, it will all be accepted as truth. Don’t ever reject the gifts that you have been given, it is better to do as instructed and fulfill the mission, the purpose for which we are here for, than to reject them and someone else be hurt because of it.

I feel soooo much inside and have so much to share, though I try to resist, I can’t…I am always guided to go on, no matter what. I was recently given new insight, new hope, new strength to go on and I vowed not to allow anything to ever bring me back to a place of doubt a place of darkness…the walk is not always easy but I can’t give up & neither should you…so please follow your heart, no matter what, follow that guidance, no matter what, use your gifts & talents, no matter what & don’t ever, ever give up, no matter what!!!

~ From my heart to yours,

~Aixa~

~ What we don’t know is killing us…

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This Journey started four years ago…
(this is something I wrote when my journey began ~ updates are coming soon)

~ What we don’t know is killing us…

( 7~7~13 )  What we don’t know is killing us… Today marks a month since I began making drastic changes in the types of foods that I allow in my body. I guess I got sick and tired of feeling sick and tired that I finally decided that it was time to do something about it. In the past month I have noticed an amazing change in the way I feel & can’t begin to express how awesome that feels. For the past few years I have been feeling sick more often than not, it had almost began to feel normal, that whenever I felt good, then I would try to do all that I could to get caught up. Some of you that know me personally know how bad my sinuses & allergies would get & how crappy it made me feel ~ interfering with daily activities and having to push myself to get things done. The headaches would get so bad that the pain went from my face/eyes all the way to the back of my head, neck & shoulders, leaving me unable to do much & having to use a heating pad wrapped around my head & face on high heat. What a relief when I figured out that it helped! Looked ridiculous but it felt better. Pain pills didn’t do much & I don’t do well with antibiotics, so I always try to find home remedies ~ boiling cloves & breathing-in the steam also helped with the headaches & to unclog my ears. The drainage was horrible & whenever it turned into an infection, it would take weeks, sometimes months to fully recover. So yeah, it was pretty painful & annoying. But it had become so natural that I didn’t even bother complaining about it anymore (not too much anyway)…it was just part of me ~ or so I thought. Until just recently, I referred to it as “MY sinuses” or “MY allergies” but you know what? I realized that by speaking that way, I was claiming it, I was affirming it & so they hung around…they were MINE after all. Hummm. O.k., so in the past few months, I had been feeling very ill, just had no energy, sleepy, feeling tired, exhausted actually, daily headaches, body aches, lightheaded, my blood pressure was very low, you name it, I felt it. So I had some tests done, surprisingly to me I had high cholesterol & thyroid was out-of-whack but nothing major thank God. During all this time, I kept searching for home remedies for whatever I was feeling. I was also trying to figure out what was breaking me out ~ yeah, I’m a 44 yr old with acne (something I never had in my entire life, not even as a teen-ager!) So came to the conclusion that I’m allergic to peanut butter, nuts, cheese….some of my favorite foods!!! A few years ago I had been feeling this same way and had started making some changes, since then, I only use raw sugar, I try not to drink soda ( I looooove coke! & used to drink it every single day), I’m drinking more water ( I used to hate water & had to start drinking it by putting lemon in it), we stopped frying foods, we stopped eating pork & had it only on occasion, cut down on starches & started eating whole wheat bread, started to work out but then, “life” gets in the way & we forget to pay attention…until the next time your body starts to scream again. In the last year we started hearing about how some foods are making us sick & even the foods that are supposed to be healthy are NOT! We’ve watched a few documentaries on how our food supply is being handled & the things that our government allows to come to our tables, how we have been so trusting & are just being fooled thinking we are eating right & healthy or that the food is safe. It is mind-blowing the things that have been allowed and we are suffering for it. It is so sad to see how the animals that we are eating are being raised & handled, the environment, the stress & hormones they are being fed. We have been so ignorant, relying & believing in an industry that is all about greed and not concerned about the public. From the foods we eat to the medications we take…it’s all about the money & how fast & how much can be produced. And why would they want us to be healthy?…they would collapse in an instant. Have you ever wondered why the old-timers lived so long? Most of them lived off the land…the way life was meant for us to live it. They weren’t eating fast-food, preservatives, corn syrup (almost everything has corn syrup in it), GMO’s. Everything was fresh, home-grown, home-made, the animals were fed right, they were raised healthy & happy, food came from the land, not a can or box. And if one felt ill, home remedies did the trick…not a multitude of medications ~ everything is a disease now but the remedy is worse than the disease! OMG, I can go on & on. It just upsets me that we have been so blind for so long & worst of all, that we all have suffered the consequences with our health and/or the loss of loved ones. One of the things that have also bothered me was watching “Burzynski”, to find out that there has been a possible cure for cancer and it has not been allowed…what kind of world is this? In the meantime, so many are losing their lives unnecessarily. (don’t even get me started) O.k., so watching these documentaries, ( “ Forks Over Knives”, “Food, Inc.”, “Fresh”, “Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead”, “Burzynski” ~ that I can remember off the top of my head) , reading different articles and just analyzing & comparing the way life used to be to how it is now, has made me think & has (excuse my language) pissed me off enough to do something about it. I can not repair the damage that has already been done ~ or perhaps I can. I have sooooo much to learn about these subjects but what I’ve learned so far has been enough to start making dramatic changes & I can honestly say that I feel the difference it’s made. From daily headaches to none in the past month ~ only on the second day of my cleanse & that was a caffeine withdrawal headache. I haven’t taken a single aspirin or any type of medication for anything. I haven’t had to use my heating pad in the past 3 weeks ~ I used it just about daily. My energy level is unbelievable! I just feel refreshed, renewed & absolutely awesome! So what have I done??? First of all, got mad enough to WANT to make a change. Then did some research…(I’m still researching & trying to find out as much as I can ~ there’s so much to learn) This is reprogramming your lifestyle. And the problem with many of us is that we don’t want to be inconvenienced, we like fast & easy and although we would like for things to change, we don’t want to make the changes. Decided what I wanted to do (cleanse/detox) & prepared myself for it…mentally & physically started to eliminate things that weren’t healthy. I did a 10 day detox plan, eating and juicing ONLY fruits & vegetables, drinking ONLY water, coconut water, raw ginger tea & other herbal teas. During that same time, I did my “7 day Get-a-way” which is a time for renewal of the mind, body & soul. Away from any distractions, internet, etc. & concentrating on what I wanted to accomplish. After the 10 days, I gradually added other foods but totally eliminated anything that is not good for me. ( except for the cakes & ice cream from the 2 birthdays we’ve celebrated since ) ~ coffee: only one small cup in the morning ( and I looooove coffee) ~ rice: only once a week (in my culture, rice is almost an everyday thing) ~ have only had chicken (organic) & seafood (wild-caught only!) …I’m sure I’ll have some red meat at some point, will be looking for a fresh meatmarket. ~ have been having meatless days ( I always had to have meat ~ always) ~ haven’t had bread in about a month & a half Healthy eating habits, adding lots of raw vegetables & fruits, daily fruit smoothies (fresh & as organic as possible), daily veggie & fruit juices (freshly juiced), herbal teas with local raw honey, coconut water is awesome! Started working out (gradually ~ this is the biggest challenge for me, uggg) Going to bed & waking up earlier. Have made many more changes, too many to list, but you get the idea. I’m just a newbie at this “healthy stuff” ~ I’m a former coffee & chocolate addict so to even mention the word healthy is a miracle in itself…I didn’t even have my first piece of broccoli until a couple years ago & still won’t eat it cooked. (the only cooked veggie I’ll have is corn on the cob & sautéed onions & peppers) Thankfully, raw is better. I’m still researching & have to find better sources for organic everything but I’ve made the first steps into this new journey and if I can feel this good already, I can’t imagine once time goes by and I’m totally transformed! Wow! Well, I hope this helps a bit. (I’ve gotten some private messages asking me for some of the recipes, so I’ll try to add them here with the photos) And as I learn more, I’ll share more. Also, feel free to send me any recipes that you like & I’ll try them & share them. ~ We are responsible for this shell we call the body & what we choose to feed it with…our choices will determine how long we get to enjoy it. So let’s take care of it!
Health, Love & Blessings to all…
~Aixa~
Click here for Photos   (when this journey started)
and come back soon for all the new updates that I will add…
please bear with me as I set this blog up. Thank you 🙂

I’m baaaaack!!!

Version 7

It’s been a while since I’ve been here. For many reasons I took a break but as life always comes Full Circle…here I am again. So much has happened since I’ve been gone ~ in time I’ll share it all. The urge has come back to me, to look within and allow all words to flow as they wish. Never knowing what to expect, I simply allow it and whatever may be, will be. Something calls me, tugs at me and it can no longer be ignored…the reasons why, I am not sure of but that something WILL be revealed, That I am certain of ~ to me, to you, to any of us who wish to open ourselves up to receive. I have many questions and very few answers, I open myself up to wherever God is leading…and so here I am, just here, just me, believing and allowing myself to be Guided.

I KNOW many are searching, for what exactly, some aren’t even sure, but something is missing… there is a void ~ a void which has been tried to be filled by all the wrong things, only leading to destruction and pain, only bringing us back to where we started…as stated before ~ coming Full Circle, Returning to our beginnings…starting all over again…

I’m baaaaack!!!

( Ready to share and to receive )

~Aixa~