“Another Blank Page”

(sharing this older post…)

“Another Blank Page”    ~by Aixa Garcia 3-11-15

blankpage

Another blank page sits before me, I stare at it for quite a while.

The words are there, inside of me, dying to bring themselves forth but I resist, I hold back, in fear of what may be said. You see, I say tooo much sometimes, I share my heart, my thoughts, my gifts but they are not always understood. Though many confirm their helpfulness and how they have been touched in one way or another…others resist, afraid of the truth, afraid to feel, afraid to see within themselves. But even “I” resist what they may reveal…so much has already been said and sometimes I just don’t want to know. But the urge inside is much greater than me and eventually I have to give in. What is it that wants to be said? What is it that needs to be shared? If I hold back, it pains me with the thought of rejecting my gifts. But if I share, my heart is open, in the hands of the one who receives…or resists. I try to separate myself, the “human” self from feelings and emotions but it’s often difficult to do…as FEELING is part of how I receive…you see, I have a gift that Feels things, that goes deep within one’s soul, I can feel the pain in others, though they hide it behind a smile. I feel the doubt, the struggle, the pain that dwells in them deep. Maybe I feel too much but it’s part of who I am. How else could I help another? Is it so wrong to feel? To care? To give ones heart so deeply? Maybe I ask too much, maybe I expect even more. But how does one hold back from something that is in essence, out of our control? We are all here for a reason, with a purpose and a mission to fulfill. I am currently walking my journey and still learning along the way. I fall often as the path isn’t always clear but Divinity picks me up and guides me along the way. I struggle as others do and fight against adversity because we very well know…where there’s a purpose, there will always be adversity. My heart has oftentimes been broken, my world shaken but my Spirit cannot be touched…though it has tried to be, I am protected by a Force much greater than any of us. And I am always reminded to never give up, no matter what! ~ to keep on fighting, keep on believing, to keep on loving. It doesn’t matter whether our gifts are accepted, received, or understood, it only matters that we follow that Guidance that shows us what to do, then wait for Divinity to do the rest…eventually, it will ALL be understood, it will all be accepted as truth. Don’t ever reject the gifts that you have been given, it is better to do as instructed and fulfill the mission, the purpose for which we are here for, than to reject them and someone else be hurt because of it.

I feel soooo much inside and have so much to share, though I try to resist, I can’t…I am always guided to go on, no matter what. I was recently given new insight, new hope, new strength to go on and I vowed not to allow anything to ever bring me back to a place of doubt a place of darkness…the walk is not always easy but I can’t give up & neither should you…so please follow your heart, no matter what, follow that guidance, no matter what, use your gifts & talents, no matter what & don’t ever, ever give up, no matter what!!!

~ From my heart to yours,

~Aixa~